I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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