I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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