I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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