i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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