there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
