They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
