I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
