What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
