He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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