Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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