I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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