You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
