what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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