so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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