Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
