pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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