you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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