i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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