its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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