YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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