I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
