I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I didn't notice because vodka
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
