Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
