How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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