dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
