nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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