So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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