No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She's the barista slut.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drake has all the answers
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
