Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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