): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
