I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
