Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
