Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is my gift to your gina
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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