I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
