You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
