just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
