I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
