The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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