When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
