Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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