so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
