why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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