"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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