Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
