Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
