my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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