When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
