erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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