that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
