More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
