I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is Oprah even human
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
