i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
