it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
