no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
