Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
