She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
