Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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