you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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