o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
